40 Days

Wow, I guess when you are keeping track of the days a picture at the time, you start to realize how quickly the year passes. 40 days doesn’t seem like a lot at first, until you think that in 40 more days we will be at the 80 day mark, then it quickly shows you how fast the year will be just be another memory. I was so busy these last 20 days that I really didn’t have a chance to sit down and do my 21-30 day most so I figured I would just combine that most and the 31-40 day post into one larger post. So here are Days 21-40 of my Project 365 page. Remember if you want to follow along with my daily posts you can follow me on Instagram. I also have a page dedicated to my 365 Days Project.

I kicked off the last 20 days by celebrating my 31st birthday. I was happy to be in a much better place mentally than I was on my 30th birthday. I spent the day with people who are important to me. I was surrounded with love, texts, and phone calls. It was a wonderful day. I couldn’t think of any way I would have rather of spent my birthday.

The biggest news from the last 20 days has been the beginning of the certification program for Reflexology. I know I’ve mentioned it in a lot of my posts, and I probably will for a while, but hey, when you are passionate about something you tend to talk about it a lot.

I also saw my Rheumatologist, who I see every 3-4 months and it was a great appointment. I’m fairly stable right now, and while I require routine testing and follow ups with him.

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Daily Gratitudes Week 5

(Image Source: http://maintainmomentum.com/blog/how-to-develop-an-attitude-of-gratitude/)


Just like that a week has flown by. January has closed, and February is off with a speedy start for us. I began a certification program for Reflexology. I should finish in May and begin taking clients in June. That is the most exciting news this week! It was a rather fast paced week and I swear I just blinked and the week flew by.


January 29- Feb 5, 2015


1-29:Hot showers. Good talks with friends, even if they are by text. Laughter at the office. The convenience of laying out my medications for a week at a time, and not having to open every single pill bottle everyday, because that would suck a lot. Evernote. Acceptance. 

1-30:Cheese. Coffee. Laughter and good conversation. Accountability. Stars on a crisp cold night. The feeling of accomplishment.

1-31:The hilarious moments in life brought to us by my being on Mirtazapine (a sedative/anxiety medication) and having to get up earlier than originally planned….It caused my quote of the day… “I just need pants.” QT Donuts and coffee. Busy Days go really quick. I’m finished with my first week of homework for Reflexology. Now I’m going to reread my resources I was given this week to make sure I have everything covered. British Comedies. Relaxing evenings. 

2-1: I received week 2 of my Reflexology course a day early! There is a lot of material to cover this week so I’m grateful for the extra day. This morning afforded me the luxury of lingering in bed until 8ish. My gratitude posts and the chance they give me each day to look back through my day for moments to be thankful for, even if they are small, and I have to work to find them, I can usually find something to be thankful for. Amusing Super Bowl Commercials. Seriously most of the time it’s the only reason I watch the game. Plans to see a friend tomorrow to catch up.

2-2:catching up with a friend over coffee, laughter, cherry limeade, a pharmacist that is on top of things….yep you guessed it Azathioprine/Imuran is still in short supply. I don’t run out for two more weeks but my pharmacist called this evening to give me the heads up that there may be another issue getting it this month. Sighs. Staying hopeful it will come in before I actually run out. Bedtime is getting close, I’m experiencing a caffeine crash and need sleep quick.

2-3:Days you can slowly ease into. Good therapy this morning. I’m about 90% finished with my homework for the week! I still have to review week 1 and finish reading this week’s resources but I’m mostly done with the actual homework portion. Woohoo!

2-4:Good Customer Services. Folks that remember your name and order upon sight. A more relaxed day, even if it was still busy. I got to speak with my mom via Skype briefly this afternoon. I’m having a rather low energy day so kept it a short convo. Caught up with a couple of friends via phone/text. Homework and reading is finished for the week. Now just reviewing the first two weeks and writing down questions for when I speak with my instructor at the end of Month 1. 

2-5: Azathioprine (My immunosuppressant) came in so I am back with all of my prescriptions at one pharmacy! Amusing convos with the pharmacy tech. Getting a couple of things down before heading to Concord. Thankful for Doug and Mellow and all they do and the continued emotional support they offer. Cherry Pepper Relish. My odd sense of humor, and the ability to laugh through the rough patches. Even more appreciative of those that get my sense of humor and laugh along with me. 

 This week I’d have to say the focus of my thoughts has been on how powerful the reframing ability of this daily exercise is for me. My 8:30 appointment to rethink about my day with only gratitude for the events allows me to end my day a positive note. It doesn’t take away the all of the bad that can happen in a day, but it does show me all the good that hang out even in the bad. I’ve learned to appreciate even the bad moments give us a chance to learn something. (Previous Daily Gratitude Week 4,  Week 3Week 2,Week 1)
What do you all have to be thankful for this week?

Daily Gratitudes Week 4

(Image Source: http://improvementlist.blogspot.com/2013/11/be-thankful-and-show-gratitude.html)

I can’t believe another week has gone by already! It has been a busy week and I’ve had a lot of exciting things happen this week. I’m hoping to have time this weekend to make a couple of blog posts about a couple of things that are mentioned in this post. I saw my Rheumatologist on Monday and it was a great appointment. The biggest news from this week is that I started a certification program to become a Reflexologist! I should be finished and able to accept clients by summer. Here’s my week of gratitude posts: 

January 22- January 28, 2015

1-22: Funny movies before heading to Concord. Sharing future plans with people who are excited for me. Making steps towards obtaining a goal. Well meaning people, even if they leave me scratching my head sometimes. Zazzle snuggles. Precision in language. That my good friend became a brand new RN as of this week AND she gets to start her new amazing job earlier than planned! It is amazing when good things happen to those that deserve it.  

1-23: Fuzzy boots and the warmth they provide. Hot coffee on a cold morning. The exchange of ideas in a positive environment. Spotify. Mexican Food. Hot Coffee on a cold rainy evening. Hanging out with my two favorite guys. Laughter. Warm PJs. That bedtime is nearing, because cold rainy days zap my energy and are painful, plus I didn’t sleep all that well last night. 

1-24: Being able to move, even if it were at a slower pace this morning. Tramadol. Moving forward with plans. Sharing news with supportive folks in my life. How fluffy the clouds looked this afternoon, truly beautiful. Catching up with a friend via phone. Moments of personal realizations, chances to learn from them, and the ability to process that information. 

1-25: Milder weather, beautiful afternoons. Relaxing evenings. Early bedtime (though tomorrow is going to be a long day, with an early am Rheumatology appointment) to start the day off. Not feeling as stressed about this appointment as I have the last few appointments with Dr. L. Figuring ways to occupy the brain space has led to less anxiety. I’m glad I’m at a place where this is an option, unlike before when I couldn’t overpower the thoughts. Acknowledgment that this is for the moment a comfortable place to be, even if there are still some rough emotions being dealt with. 

1-26: A positive Rheumatology appointment. Feeling more confidence in my healthcare team and enjoying the freedom that provides. Entertaining comments about looking younger than I am, nurse thought I was 18. Call me amused. That silence often speaks louder than words, and says more than the spoken word ever will.

1-27: Supportive advice. New beginnings, paths, and the chance to learn something new. That today had a later start to it than yesterday. I’m not so sure I can do early mornings every day, this is not news though, I’ve never been a morning person. Good thing I’m around people who are accepting and understanding of this knowledge.Vanilla latte with an extra shot of espresso helped jump-start me today. Earlier bedtime tonight hopefully. 

1-28: Hot coffee. Feta Cheese is amazing with shrimp. I have officially started my Reflexology studies. My instructor is the founder of the school, and the conference call with her was awesome. I was pleasantly surprised at how much information I had retained from when I was first introduced to Reflexology several years ago. Having things to share that do not seem mundane and boring. The ability to say, no I can do that tomorrow. Spending the evening with my hubby. Relaxing evenings cuddled on the couch. 

4 weeks into my gratitude posts projects has shown me a way to rethink through things. I have an alarm set on my phone for 8:30pm every day that reminds me to take a few moments to pause and think about the day. For those few moments, even if I’m having a bad day I think about it with only gratitude. As I think back over the day, I slowly start to see that even in the negative, adverse moments in life, there is usually something I can be appreciative of. That is one of the tools I first learned in therapy, reframing thoughts, and learning how to think differently to get around unhealthy thought processes.  (Previous Daily Gratitude Week 3Week 2, Week 1)

What do you have to be thankful for this week?

Days 11-20 of 365

Sorry this post is a few days late! I was busy this week with a couple of appointments and my birthday! The highlights of this week include my 31st birthday, an appointment with my therapist, and a shortage in my Azathioprine which you can read about here. Emotionally it was a mixed bag. The shortage of one of my medications, as you can imagine caused a little bit of stress. Luckily it was short lived and the situation was alleviated quickly. Therapy is an every two week appointment and I have made leaps and bounds in dealing with the emotional processing of being diagnosed with two chronic illnesses, issues with my dad, my miscarriage, and a few other issues I have been shouldering. Oh and I also got a new hair cut, which allowed me to talk to a stylist about my plans to do something fun with my hair in a few months. The plan is to dye my hair purple, the question is shade(s) and how creative we want to get with it. I’m thinking I want to have fun with it, since the timing will be around the time Lupus awareness month is and purple is the awareness color for Lupus.

Here are the pictures from Days 11-20

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You can see my entire 365 Project: 365 Days!

Daily Gratitudes Week 3


(Image Source:http://blog.lululemon.com/the-gratitude-movement/)

This week was full of a lot of things for me to be thankful for. I faced one of the things that causes me anxiety in life head on and got my hair cut, by a stylist and hopefully it is the beginning of a relationship that will allow me to maintain better hairstyles going forward. The biggest news of this week was I turned 31 on the 21st. I’ll try to do a post soley on my birthday later, this is also why this post and my Project 365 20 days rehash post is a little late. I’ll get it posted in the next couple of days though. Here’s my last week of gratitude: 

January 15- January 21, 2015

1-15:The ability to laugh at myself while making silly little mistakes. Trying new approaches and new places. A hair salon experience that didn’t totally suck! A new hair cut that I like. Taking a moment to face anxieties and deal with them. Lunch at a tasty favorite due to being blocked in by a truck unloading. Doug and his ability to ease my headache. Goals, ambitions, and plans.  

1-16:Shorter hair that is more manageable. My lunette cup (better review later but so far I’m amazed). Busy day at Sticks and Stones. Beautiful sunset on the way to Harrisburg. Dinner out with the guys. Coconut coffee. 

1-17:2nd day hair that looks as good as 1st day hair. Opportunities. Unexpected flowers from Mellow waiting for me when I got home. How much I am loved. I got my birthday cards from family in the mail, sweet and very appreciated. Evenings at home snuggled on the couch. As Time Goes By. Doc Martin.

1-18:Eggwhite, bacon and Cheddar croissant for breakfast. Super curly hair today. I’ve gone NoPoo again. My hair seems to be more agreeable to this idea this go round. We will see how it goes tomorrow when I go to style it. Granted it’s also a lot shorter this go round. Moving forward in life and the realizations that convos with friends can bring about. Thankful for the good friends I have that are there for me and the support they offer me. I’m even thankful for those that have chosen to leave because even though I am saddened that they have,  I’m more aware today than ever, who has my back and whose back I should have. Music. Spending time just being.  

1-19:Compliments from complete strangers (even if they were blatantly hitting on me), hey he was a hottie, so I consider myself flattered. Apparently my new hair is a hit with the menfolk. Potato Soup. Prepared bacon by adding water to the frying pan and fixing it that cooking it until the water had boiled off then fried it. Made crisp but tender bacon without the popping and danger factor of straight frying bacon does. Thanks Doug for bringing this method to my attention! Early birthday wishes from friends. An evening around the house. 

1-20:Amusing moments in the waiting room of my therapist’s office. The therapists themselves are fairly entertaining folks at times. Good session today, good talk. The beginning of letting go of some unnecessary guilt that I’ve been carrying around. Emotional baggage is hard. Letting go is harder. Moments of reflection on this last day of my 30th year of life. What an interesting journey life is. The fact that diarrhea jokes still make me giggle uncontrollably like a 12 year old. 2 gallons of pumpkin processed and frozen so far, still a little left to puree on Thursday. The ability to say, “nah let’s finish that project later”.

1-21:Life. It’s my birthday. I’ve made it to 31. It’s been a fantastic day. Started off the day with several texts and facebook messages saying happy birthday.Talked to mom for a few when she called to wish me a happy birthday. Next we got my INR appt out of the way. Doc wears glasses, ya’ll….yep, enough said. I’m sure it’s a good sign when your doctor congratulates you for making it to 31 right? haha Seriously I’ve never been congratulated for having a birthday before. It amuses me when someone is as awkward as me with social statements and such. I have a big ‘ol soft spot for the social awkward folks in my life. Then the sugar overloading began with a donut. A trip to Bath and Body works was next, yea you don’t get to judge me today…this may be where my addiction issue lies though..I may have enough BB&W to see me through a Zombie apocalypse atm. Next a Caramel Macchiato, first ever. OH MY YUM! Then there was a trip to Afton Tavern to consume a Cookie Skillet for lunch. Back to Concord Mills to see Into The Woods. Then We went to World Market and picked up an Extra Dark Chocolate bar and Lemon Soda. We then came home and chilled for a bit and waited on Mellow to come home and I skyped with mom for a bit.  Then we went out for Sushi/Asian foods. A great birthday spent surrounded by love and having fun. Yes a bit indulgent but that’s okay once in a while. I’m just hoping my body doesn’t totally crash and burn tomorrow with all the sugar I had today!  So thankful for all the birthday wishes I’ve received throughout the day! Touched by all the love! 

So what you do all have to be thankful for this week? Even the smallest moments in life give us reasons to pause and be grateful. I’ve found that by reframing the stressful, anxious moments, I can even be grateful for those moments as well. It has really helped me change the way I think and face the problems I have. It doesn’t take all of my anxiety and depression issues away but has definitely helped me. I’m excited that I can use this blog as a way to capture this entire year and have an easy way to look back at my posts. Incase you are just tuning into my blog, or you want to look back too, Here are the previous weeks: (Daily Gratitude Week 2, Week 1)





Daily Gratitudes Week 2

(Image Source: http://neataiasi.ro/loading-noua-poveste-a-sinelui/#1)


Today wrapped up the 2nd week of my daily gratitude posts. Looking back over the week it was a lot of gratitude for warmth, food, and people, and the smaller things. A couple of significant moments in life where I was truly thankful for the members of my healthcare team and even for the pharmacy at Wal-Mart, since they were able to get me supplied with Azathioprine for the month. Below are my posts that I made to my personal Facebook page:

January 8-January 14, 2015

1-8: thick sock, fuzzy warm boots, thermals, hot coffee, working heat, heated massage tables, massages, Doug, hilarious videos on YouTube.

1-9: productivity while having fun. Hawthorne’s. That sometimes voicing your feelings has to be done even when it causes anxiety and shakiness. Being able to do so and not feeling as though I have to back down for the first time in my life. Knowing what ownership of my emotions feels like. Appreciating the learning experience this presented me. Rocky River coffee and zen grams with the guys. Taking a moment to breathe and regroup.

1-10:QT Donuts and coffee. How on top of things my Pharmacist is (apparently the supply of Imuran/azaTHIOprine is currently being limited by the manufacturer so she called to let me know so we could head off issues of possible shortages, let’s hope it comes in before I run out Thursday…This means both of my Lupus meds are in short supply right now…WTF manufacturers? What gives?) Music that soothes the soul. Games that occupy the mind. Hot showers on a cold evening. 

1-11:A good night’s sleep, almond croissants, getting the things accomplished that needed to be done today off the list. reminders that I have a positive influence on others. that it is almost bedtime (seriously why is it only 8 something?) So tired.  I’m glad we were able to get back in before the rain really set in for the evening. Being cold was enough. I’m drained. Hopefully I will have more energy tomorrow. Headphones, music, and youtube. 

1-12:healthy omelets, hot coffee, errands with Doug, For the first time in a long time Wal-Mart, and the fact that they turned a very stressful situation into an easy solution with my Azathioprine shortage. (really sucks being on medication that is considered ‘special order’ and then it be on national shortage). Good dinner at home, corn bread that turned out perfect, light, tasteful, and well just perfect. Warm socks, a relaxing evening, 

1-13:Zazzle snuggles in the mornings, not having to rush this morning my body did not want to move at all this morning. Not having to be outside much today. Laughter and productivity. Feeling at ease. The ability to look back to where I was at this point last year and appreciate how far I have come in this odd journey I am on. Appreciation of learning more about pharmaceutical companies due to the drug shortages of Azathioprine and Hydroxychloroquine, knowledge is power. Fuzzy warm pjs on a cold evening, and not having to be out in it. I’m thinking it won’t be a late night tonight. 

1-14: That errands we thought were going to take all day only took a few hours. Talking to mom. Dark Chocolate Chips. Supportive Folks that understand. That I am not a mouse with Lupus, I feel life with lupus as a wee beastie would be much more confusing and overwhelming. Thankful for the ability to cook for our household. Cast Iron skillets, the ease at which they clean and how easy it is to keep them seasoned and in use. Must use my Cast Iron cookware more! NPR podcasts.



What were some of the things you were thankful for this week?

First 10 days of 365

First 10 days of 365

I have started a Project 365 page on my blog, 365 Days. Each day I am sharing a photo to my instagram page (and Facebook) that captures a moment from that day. Some days it is just a random thing from the day, other times it will capture something more significant that I want to remember. I’m excited to see how this project turns out at the end of the year. I will update the page as often as I can, but if you follow me on Instagram you will get instant updates of this project, as well as other things I post on there.

I will try every 10 days or so to blog my thoughts, experience and last but not least the pictures since my last update in a post. Since this is my first 365 post I thought an explanation of why I chose this project instead of attempting to do 100happyDays again.  I attempted 100Days of Happiness last year but was derailed by a flare and a few other life events. I feel that being restricted to only capturing life at its high points was not in my best interest at this point in time. I feel having the ability to share a picture from my day regardless of what is going on and the temperament of the day will allow me to participate daily without having to force myself to be happy during times when this is extremely hard to do. I will update this as frequently as I can but you can also follow me on Instagram if you want to get instant updates that I plan on using for this project as well as other posts I make on there. I am also at a point in my life where I am exploring a lot of different emotions and having the capacity to explore them through a photo blog seems like a healthy avenue at this point. I also came to terms with the fact that due to my battle with depression and anxiety that I am not one of the people who faces these conditions with a sunny disposition. Shoving my emotions inward, and telling myself to put on a happy face when I am not happy, does nothing more than make me feel like a fake, and a liar. Which is exactly what 100happyDays ended up doing to me last year. It did not give me the freedom to be who I need to be to get through the issues I face on a daily basis with my illnesses. I’m a strong woman, and I’ve figured out how I need to fight to win these battles and fight this war as long as I can. I am hopeful that this project will allow me to share moments in life more freely and not feel restricted to putting on that happy face. G’ah just saying that phrase makes me cringe a bit!

These past 10 days have been pretty routine. No major flares to knock me backwards, or that have sidelined me too bad. We kicked off the New year, and spent the day together around the house. It was back to the usual day-to-day and schedules of work and errands by the 2nd.  One of the realizations I had over the week is I lead a pretty boring life picture wise, so you guys are going to see a lot of food shots! At least I am a great cook! Also, you’ll see a lot of shots of our pets. I’ll try to occasionally throw in a picture of us here and there. It’s amazing how much of life goes by and we rarely take pictures of each other. There are 3 of us in our household. THREE adults and we rarely take pictures of each other! Maybe that will be one of my goals for the rest of the month, to get a picture of each one of us!

Okay without any more rambling here are the pictures from the first 10 Days! Enjoy!

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