“Because I can’t seem to escape it. It’s a way for me to address and counter my questions….” -Junot Diaz.
Updated 3/9/20167:Life before my diagnoses of two chronic illnesses was lovely, it was happy. I helped my (Ex husband) husband with screen printing and graphics, and had my own projects that were building toward a business surrounding brewing Kombucha. I enjoyed several hobbies. I enjoyed activities that ranged from baking bread, and cooking, to jewelry making to crocheting. I also was an avid gardener. I enjoyed spending time with my loved ones. Then I got sick and things got a little crazy. Life will get back to a new form of normal I know. For now I’m trying to figure out what that is. For now, I’m trying to piece back together who Nicole is. That can be hard to do when you’ve gone through something traumatic such as the experiences that transpire from events some chronic illnesses present to you.
In November 2013 I was diagnosed with Antiphospholipid Syndrome, an autoimmune blood clotting disorder, and in March 2014 I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. Lupus, is another autoimmune condition where your body mistakenly attacks itself. My body is confused and instead of attacking and fighting off viruses, and other illnesses, it’s fighting a war against itself, on two fronts. At least that’s how I’ve come to look at it, I’m a little bit of a WWII/history buff, so I sometimes make dorky history related analogies. Welcome to my journey through this crazy part of life.
I’m almost three years into my journey with Lupus and APS at this point. I’ve come along ways since those first initial days. I can’t say that it is any easier, I think battling chronic conditions will always be a grab bag of various obstacles and frustrations. However, I’ve have learned to deal with it better. It is hard to put into words how different life is for me than it was at the beginning of this journey. As I write, I hope it comes across.
Dealing with the miscarriage of our child was something I never suspected to be the beginning of a journey like this. Unfortunately when lost our baby on May 29, 2013 at 10 weeks, instead of being the end of a tragic event, it was just the beginning. It is funny how things can happen like that when you aren’t expecting them.
In February 2016 I made one of the hardest decision of my life and ended my marriage. The details of the reasons I chose to do this were numerous, but sometimes after so much happens, two people that once were together can no longer continue existing together.
Life is funny in the way when you close one door, another one tends to open. Here’s a short story for you. Over a decade ago I met this guy, I found him highly attractive, incredibly likeable and he had a sense of humor that kept me laughing. It was a fairly instant crush. I never said anything to him back then. We stayed good friends through the years. Just so happens he had recently become single as well. Even better, feelings were mutual. You know where this story is heading, so I’ll just skip the details and end this with the rest is history. Life is good right now, there are promises of better tomorrows, and I’m glad to be back in my hometown. It turned out that everything my heart and soul has been searching for, are right where I started.
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