Until Next Year

I met him in January. He stood a towering 6 foot something and had a commanding presence as he entered the small room I sat in. I was a ball of nerves when we first met. He is an older gentleman with a kind face that is often framed with a pair of glasses that are ill fitted. He moves them up and down his nose as he talks and reads from a thick file he has carried into the room. His expressions were stern at first, though as time has gone by they have softened and I’ve seen a couple of smiles cross his face. He remains guarded most of the time, I’m guessing given his profession it is a learned behavior.  I’ll admit when I first met him it was at a point where I wasn’t paying close attention so some details escaped me.Things such as his thinning hair, or the fact that he always wears a white coat.

I can remember when we first met one of the first things he told me was that I had to find a way to calm down. I was still at a stage that I felt that was impossible. That I thought it would never happen.  I’ve seen him 4 times now. Each time he would say I was doing  a little better.

Today was the most recent of our meetings. Today will be the last time this year. Today he said I looked great, the best he’s seen me since we met. He kept repeating that I looked great. That he was really happy with how well I looked. He said that he was happy with where things are, that I am in good hands and that he is pleased with how I’m being cared for. Today I saw a side of him that I had never seen of him, that let me know why he was on my team. It was almost bittersweet hearing I won’t see him until this time next year. Then again, at least that means he isn’t planning on retiring yet. Today I saw my Hematologist, Dr. M. Today he also said that my care was better off with my Rheumatologist because I have a Rheumatologic Disease with a Hematologic Manifestation.Those are  big fancy words for “Lupus with a side of blood clots”. He will mainly be in the background in case of emergencies, consults, should I need surgery and those sorts of things.

Our meeting Today was brief, packed full of information and he vetted the Dermatologist Dr. L wants me to see. He also was happy to hear I was getting a medical alert bracelet. Today before we parted, he told me he was happy to see I had calmed down from when we first met, and that he knew I was going to be okay. It was over quickly and we parted ways. I headed to the check out and scheduled my first appointment for 2015. I won’t see Dr. M until June 8, 2015, assuming nothing major happens that requires me to see him beforehand.


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