Drug Indicated. Two words right? What do you think when you read them? These words appeared in my Problem List from my appointment with Dr. C today. I had gone for my weekly PT/INR check ( It was darn near perfect!) and also discussed with him that my Rheumatologist wanted him to monitor some routine lab work for him since I am on Imuran. He will be doing Complete Blood Counts, Liver Function Tests, and Kidney Function to make sure Imuran is working properly and not causing any issues with my bodily functions. Dr. L was supposed to fax lab orders to Dr. C, wait no, let’s back up a moment. Dr. L was SUPPOSE to mail me lab orders almost two weeks ago when I first started Imuran to take to Dr. C. They never arrived. So I called his office yesterday. I spoke with his nurse and she said she would make sure to fax Dr. C the lab orders so he would have them for my appointment this morning. Of course they did not make it. Dr. C went ahead and ordered the labs anyway so we could get the monitoring started and hopefully eventually the official lab orders will make it to him. If not I guess I’ll pick them up at my next appointment with Dr. L. This may be the time I pick up the letter that he was supposed to send to Dr. C as well. This is why I get frustrated with my other doctors, and why I prefer to see my PCP. He at least follows through with the things he says he’s going to do.
Today’s Diagnosis read Antiphospholipid Syndrome (yep got it, still have it, always will), and High Risk Medication. Then in my Problem List (on going issues) I noticed after I left my PCP’s office Drug Indicated. I know this is in reference to the Imuran and to establish a reason for routine lab work, but…..
I am the child of an addict. My brain processed those words differently than most people would have. I should be okay with those words being there, I probably will be at some point. Right now I am not. Right now I want to call Dr. C and beg him to change the wording.But I won’t. Right now I am upset that they are there. I would have been much more okay with it if they had read Medication Indicated. I read Drug Indicated and all I can imagine is my Hematologist looking at my file and going ‘oh look Nicole is a drug addict now’. Labels, misconstrued concepts, and ideas they mess with my head sometimes. I already said I’m an overthinker. I know this isn’t going to be the case, It’s pretty clear I don’t have a drug problem, and I’d agree to a random drug test at any point should any of my doctors ask for one. I just don’t want to be labeled or even come close to being labeled a drug addict. I cringed when I read the words. That was over an hour ago, and here I sit now writing this because it still bothers me. Two little words, too much thought.
So this is what Lupus has done to me, It has led me to being on a medication that gets stupid words added to my medical file. High Risk Medication. Drug Indicated. I don’t see the file Dr. C has on me. I half wonder if it’s because it is so large at this point it takes up an entire drawer. Yep I envision my file to be drawer size. The one my Hematologist has on me is multi sectional and is color-coded. I’m not joking. It’s HUGE and I’ve seen him 3 times and he has several color coded tabs. I asked him a few questions at my last appointment and each answer happened to be in a different section of my file. I watched him scan the tabs, find the appropriate one, and then find the information that provided the answers to my questions. It was rather overwhelming to watch. My Rheumatologist’s folder is about the same size and I’ve had 2 appointments with his office, one with his assistant and one with Him. I see Dr. C way more than I see any of my other doctors. Now that I’m labeled as ‘one of those sick people’, it seems other labels are finding themselves into my file from time to time…… High Risk Medication and Drug Indicated. Maybe I should get caution tape and wear it to my next INR appointment on Monday!