Springtime means looking forward to Summertime. I can’t say summer has ever been my favorite season. This year,I am filled with even more apprehension. It’s my first summer with my diagnoses. This time last year, I was still healthy, I had no idea in a years time I would be sitting here at my computer, writing blog posts about having Lupus and Antiphospholipid Syndrome. Last summer, was my first summer with symptoms, but I had no diagnoses. These will be my first hot, humid, southern, god awful summer days knowing what is wrong.
For those of you who live in the south, you know what I’m talking about. The summers here in North Carolina, can be unbearable. Temps can be unbearable and days can start off above 80. Add in the brow drenching humidity and there are days we just don’t venture outside unless we absolutely have to. It’s the type of heat you can see when you look out over the horizon. You see it rising in waves. Swelling and engulfing, waiting to swallow everything.
Winter was painful, the cold hurt me with a pain in my joints that I can not adequately describe yet. Someday I will find the words. Someday I will tell you of this pain. I am a little hopeful that Summer will be less painful. I will have been on Plaquenil for a few months by the time Summer hits, and as long as the tests come back, I will most likely have started Imuran by then as well. So there is some hope riding on the warmer months.
I don’t know how my skin is going to react. Before now I use to tan beautifully. Let me rephrase that, I am olive complected, because I am part Cherokee, not because I lay out in the sun. Now when I go out in the sunlight, I develop rashes triggered by the sun, and my tail tale mark of a lupie shines across my cheeks, the ever so noticeable butterfly rash. It is true that not all people with Lupus have the butterfly rash, but I was one of the ones that was marked. As though my body decided to make it known to the world that ‘Hey! This woman has LUPUS!!!!!’ It’s okay, I’m not ashamed of it, and more often than not, I don’t wear makeup, I’m just not a makeup person, especially in the summertime, because of the humidity.
That’s enough of the things that have me a little apprehensive about summer. Now for the things I forward to for each summer:
- Our 5 year wedding anniversary is coming up in August.
- Warm summer nights, because this means on Friday nights when we go out for dinner and coffee with friends, we can take advantage of outdoor seating. I love sitting outside. It makes me feel more connected to the nature, even when we are in the city. Being a country girl, this is really important to me. It feeds my soul.
- Fireflies, they bring back such precious memories from my childhood. From chasing them when I was a small child and gathering them. To just laying and watching them as I got older.
- Stargazing, this has always been a favorite pastime of mine. It relaxes me and soothes my soul.
- More time at the parks, warmer weather hopefully will mean getting out of the house more, and taking advantage of the parks in our area. There are some great parks here.